L and the Chocolate Factory
by riyaaanu
Summary: L won a Golden Ticket! Now he had to drag Raito along for the tour.. Tsktsk! Poor Mr. Willy Wonka.. Chapter 6 is up!
1. Chapter 1

**L and the Chocolate Factory**

**Chapter I.**

* * *

With deliberate slowness and obvious concentration, the world's greatest detective pushed a chocolate-covered index finger into his mouth, trapping the said digit between his lips and began to gently suck on it. He then unhurriedly pulled out his index finger from his mouth, only to replace it with his thumb, which was also laced with the melted treat. The sugar-fixated detective would have gone on all day like that if not the soft sound of his gentle sucking began to irritate the younger man sitting next to him.

"Will you quit it already, Ryuuzaki?"

The detective shifted his dark eyes away from the monitor that he had been concentrating on, to the young Yagami beside him. The brunette returned the hollow gaze with a pointed glare.

It was still early in the morning, and already, the Kira Investigation Team found itself at a loss. The Yotsuba group had no suspicious activity going on at the moment, so the team was left with nothing much to do but to do the mundane task of double checking all their existing documents for that one clue that would get them back on track. But so far, that vital information eluded them.

Raito had taken up the habit of pretending to read documents, as his mind actively sought out new ways to distract the investigation team, and thus use the Death Note to achieve his 'perfect world'. But of course, being chained to a sugar-fixated, insomniac genius detective, having such peaceful daydreaming time was beyond rare; it's impossible.

He had an uncanny feeling the distractions were done intentionally.

"Is there something wrong, Raito-kun?" asked L politely through his thumb, ignoring the fact that the other young man was glaring daggers at him.

Yagami Raito groaned. "Your chocolate had been all but melted in the wrapper. Do you really have to wipe it clean with your fingers?"

"Hai. One shouldn't waste food, Raito-kun. Think of how many people go to bed hungry."

"But you've been licking on your fingers for the last twenty minutes!"

L gave him another blank look that seem to say 'so what?' before turning back to his computer. Just when Raito thought he would ignore the last statement, the gangly detective pulled out his thumb before he answered.

"That was the last chocolate bar in my stash after the ban, Raito-kun. I intend to enjoy it to its last, melted sweet drop."

Only then did Raito remember that Watari had banned L from eating sweets for a week five days ago, as per the detective's dentist's recommendation (or appropriately, 'threat'). Of course, L didn't listen to the old man and went on eating the diabetic stuff he called 'food' in what he calls 'secrecy' (popping several strawberry-filled éclairs in his mouth when apparently no one was looking, or 'accidentally' pouring the whole container of sugar cubes in his tea cup). Watari didn't attempt to tell L to lay off the sweets however; Raito supposed the old man knew that his stubborn boss wouldn't let go of his sweets as easily.

The sucking sound was then replaced by the loud, steady clacking sound of keys being punched by the spindly fingers of the detective, which Raito unfortunately found even more irritating than L's quiet thumb sucking.

He threw a particularly savage death glare at L, knowing that the detective was typing in such a way to irritate him.

"Careful, Raito-kun. A death glare such as that has just made my suspicion that you are Kira rise by seven percent. Only Kira would stare at me like he was expecting me to drop dead where I sat."

Raito frowned. "I'm **not** Kira."

"Hn. So you say."

Raito stared at the impossibly irritating detective, who simply latched his index finger between his teeth.

So, with nothing else better else to do, he simply grabbed a piece of paper and began listing down all existing names he knew (under the pretense of listing down names of the next possible third Kira targets), hoping one of it was L's.

It was good practice when he got his Death Note back.

* * *

_BLAG!_

Two days after with nothing but the sound of the clacking keys and pages being turned being heard in the room (Matsuda had dozed off a good three hours, so the others were thankfully spared of his mindless prattle), it wasn't a surprise when everyone nearly leapt out of their skin at the sudden sound.

Mogi scattered his papers.

Aizawa fell on his chair.

Mr. Yagami grabbed at his chest as if Kira targeted him.

Raito dropped his pen.

And, Matsuda shrieked a girly shriek.

All of them, except L, whirled on the young cop incredulously.

"Whaaaat?" he whined, raising his hands in defense. "I was surprised!"

"_Somehow, I don't believe you," _thought Mogi, Aizawa, Raito and Mr. Yagami at the same time, before turning to see what had startled them first. Their eyes quickly found the source, and were in for another shock.

The genius detective had fallen headfirst on his desk, with drool seeping out of his open mouth. His wide eyes were even larger than usual and held a more disturbingly listless look. His skin was also paler than usual, if that was possible. He was still gnawing on his thumb and whimpering slightly.

Mr. Yagami, recovering first, hurriedly approached the detective and inspected him carefully. The other members stood by cautiously, worried for the sugar-aficionado prodigy; Raito, however, wasn't sure what to feel if his rival had finally killed himself from consuming too much sweets (he would be ecstatic, of course, but to think that the sweets had beaten him in killing the world's three greatest detectives that happened to be a single person was very off-putting).

After some time, Mr. Yagami stood up, his eyes hidden from the glare of the overhead lights. The others tensed up when the oldest member of the team (next to Watari) didn't face them.

Matsuda, being the naïve fool that he was, bravely broke the silence and asked, "Chief? What happened to Ryuuzaki-kun?"

The older Yagami, however, ignored Matsuda and jammed his finger on a button in L's desk. Instantly, the "W" screensaver appeared.

"Watari-san," said Mr. Yagami grimly. "I lost."

Several seconds of silence ensued.

"I figured as much. Fifty bucks, Yagami-san."

He wasn't called a genius for nothing, as something clicked in Raito's head. He blinked. "To-san, Watari-san, you made a bet if Ryuuzaki could survive a week without emptying his 'secret stash' of sweets?!"

Watari gave a short chuckle. "Hai, Raito-kun. Matsuda-san, please go out and buy as much sweets as you can at once. No one needs to see more of Ryuuzaki-kun's withdrawal episodes…"

As everyone went back to his own tasks (with a few smirks and grimaces), Matsuda shrugged on his coat with a troubled look. He paused by the door and glanced at his associates.

"I don't get it. Is Ryuuzaki-kun sick or something?"

Predictably, no one answered him.

* * *

Matsuda gaped at the rather long list he had been given. His heart sank to the bottom of his damp boots. Sure, he admits that he doesn't contribute much during the planning stage of the investigation; and he readily agrees with everyone's thoughts that he tends to mess things up. He doesn't normally complain on doing 'field works', as Ryuuzaki calls them, going off to bakeries and candy shops for treats.

_But __**this**__… _

His left eye suddenly developed a twitch.

_Is pure…_

His hand slowly crumpled the poor paper. The crunch of which brought music to the young cop.

…_Completely inexcusable…absolutely unjustifiable…_

Matsuda threw the crumpled paper on the ground and stepped on it with an uncharacteristic vicious look on his face.

_**Slavery**_.

"What the hell do you take me for, huh?!" he yelled, stomping angrily at the battered paper. As he was in the middle of a street (he lost his bearings during his emotional realizations), his weird behavior making many passersby step away from the young cop. "I'm a freakin' cop! Not some goddamn delivery boy!"

"Hey!" cried indignantly by some random delivery boy passing by.

The sudden sound of Sesame Street ring tone of his phone snapped him out of his enraged tirade, and he immediately scrambled for the device on his pocket.

"Aa! Chief! …um, I just reached the shop. …Hai, hai! …So that would be… um," quickly scooping the crumpled paper from the ground, he whipped out a pen from his coat and began scribbling. "Two extra boxes of petit fours… Chocolate chip ice cream, a gallon—oh! …okay, so two gallons, and um… Aa! Hai, two dozen chocolate bars. Got it."

Matsuda clicked his phone off and sighed.

"I hate this job," he said glumly, pocketing the torn paper and heading towards the sweets shop, like he was supposed to do ten minutes ago. A commercial ad in the TV center made him pause. "Golden Ticket? …AAAH! I got to get one! Ryuuzaki-kun will be totally pleased!"

* * *

Raito thought no one would ever match Ryuk's withdrawals from his beloved apples. The bizarre way the shinigami distorts his body into impossible positions was plain creepy. But the sugar-aficionado detective was definitely living up to the competition.

He watched rather apprehensively as L curled himself up into a ball on the floor with his thumb on his mouth and began rocking himself. The dark-haired prodigy's normally wide eyes were even wider than usual, and his breathing came in long sighs.

If Raito didn't know any better, he would have said L was having a severe depression case. He just couldn't put it past the usually unperturbed detective.

As the others initially expressed their confidence that Raito could talk sense to the overly miserable genius, Raito sighed, knowing he was trapped. So crouching down in front of the rocking detective (who visibly flinches away from the invasion of his space), Raito forced out a smile (which looked as natural as day, given his superb acting skills).

"Hey, Ryuuzaki," he said gently. Being chained to the detective for a long time now, Raito surmised that there are only two things that can catch L's attention: sweets, and his work. "C'mon. Let's go back at the desk and look at the data I've found. I think it's rather important."

But even in his incapacitated state, (which turned out to be _not_ so incapacitated) L's logical mind is still better than the rest. "How could you gather data?" he asked in a strangely duller than normal voice. "We're five feet from the desk and we're chained…"

Raito paused, cautious. Ryuuzaki's mind was sharp as ever. "I took them earlier today and it just slipped my mind to tell you."

L ducked his face again on his knees and began to rock more forcefully. He was also mumbling under his breath. Raito could hear vague snatches of it.

"…withholding vital information… delaying the investigation… apparent glee at my debilitated state… percentage of suspicion increased fifteen percent…"

_Crap._

L was deducting those things even while suffering withdrawals?

Just then, the door burst open and Matsuda came in hurrying forward, carrying boxes of cakes and large number of other packages. He looked like he'd been trashed. "I got them! But there's been a—OOOF!"

L knocked Matsuda with a kick, sending the young cop flying back at the doorway. L then sat in his usual fashion and sorted through the various sweets that littered the floor. Opening a box of petit fours, he took one gingerly and popped it in his mouth, sighing contently at the burst of sugar in his mouth.

As he rolled the treat in his mouth, only then did he notice the varying degrees of shock written on the team's face. "Is there something wrong, minna-san?"

Raito, after being dragged across the room after L, glared at him. Mr. Yagami cleared his throat, but didn't answer. Mogi merely turned his gaze away and wiped the sweat from his forehead. Aizawa went to check on Matsuda, who had apparently fallen unconscious. "Ryuuzaki, I think you killed him," he commented

L stood up and inspected the fallen cop. He poked him with his bare foot before walking back to his desk, carrying with him a half-gallon chocolate chip ice cream. "Don't worry, he'll live."

Just as the words left his mouth, Matsuda sat up with another girly shriek. Seeing that everybody (except L) was staring at him once again, so he grumbled, "Whaaat?"

"Matsuda-san!" called L before anyone else could speak. "Good work today. You may take the rest of the evening off."

The young cop apparently forgot the flying kick at the moment. Raito and the others could only sweat drop at the nonchalant manner of the detective.

"Really?" beamed Matsuda, leaping to his feet. "That's great!"

"Mhm," said Ryuuzaki, putting down his ice cream only to grab a chocolate bar. "Wonka chocolate bar? Ooh, I haven't tasted this since I was a kid!"

"Wonka…?" Matsuda, on the verge of leaving suddenly poked his head again on the doorway. "Oh! Ryuuzaki-kun! I just heard a wonderful news!"

"That's nice, Matusda-san."

"There was this ad in T.V.—"

"Raito-kun, switch camera two to full screen, please."

"—that chocolate bar that this Winnie – no! Winky? Aah! Willy! That's right! This guy Willy Wonka—"

"Ryuuzaki, there's someone walking down corridor 6. He's got something under he's cloak… Must be a folder."

"Watari, magnify screen 12 could you?"

"—There's a lottery ticket in the chocolate bar! Five Golden tickets! Everyone's talking about it—"

"Thanks, Watari. Raito-kun, that's Higuchi."

"I'll trail him."

"—The winners were announced all over the world! The prize is a tour in the Wonka chocolate factory for the five lucky winners! And that's not all, a special prize will be given to the one chosen by—"

"Hm, it looks like a company envelope... Watari, please have Wedy check on that envelope later. Something of worth should be inside, judging by Higuchi's protectiveness of it."

"—Wonka-san himself! Isn't it great?! People were all fighting for those chocolates! But… I managed to wrangle only five bars…" ended Matsuda lamely, realizing just then that no one was paying attention to him. He sighed. "Never mind, it wasn't important anyway," he mumbled dejectedly, turning to the doorway. "I'll take my leave, minna-san."

"Raito-kun, do you suppose Higuchi's—" L paused. He was staring at his chocolate bar.

Curious, Raito looked over. "What's wrong Ryuuzaki?"

L ignored the other prodigy to swivel his chair towards the door. "Matusda-san."

The young cop, on the verge of closing the door, looked back.

"Is this perhaps the Golden ticket you were saying?"

Clamped between the tips of the genius detective's index and thumb was a thin gold paper, swaying slightly in the air-conditioned room.

* * *

**A/N:**

Edit - some minor corrections

Ahehe, the inspiration for this is quite predictable, don't you think? (-,o) But well, L having sugar-fixation had to be messed with sometimes.. (or always) And Johnny Depp as Willy Wonka was just amazing!

Please drop a line or two on what you think of this story.. Thanks a lot for reading!


	2. Chapter 2

**L and the Chocolate Factory**

**Chapter II.**

* * *

"I can't believe you've done this to me—" 

"..."

The two geniuses were walking along the snow-covered streets, wearing several layers of warm clothing. They might have been another normal tourists of the late season if not for the fact that there was a two feet long chain connecting them, making people they passed by gawk at them and giggle behind their backs.

"—Just because you suspect me of being an insane mass murderer doesn't mean you have any control over my life—"

"…"

The fact that one of them was dragging his dark-haired companion across the streets irately as he ranted somewhat loudly in rapid Japanese, and that the said companion was looking quite disturbed, nibbling at his thumb restlessly from beneath his scarf, and shuffling his foot uncomfortably underneath his loosely tied boots didn't help either.

"—And just because you insist putting on this blasted chains doesn't mean I have to suffer this kind of treatment from you—"

"Ugh…"

L gave the slightest wince as Raito gave a particularly savage pull on the chain, causing the detective to stumble a little. He quickly righted himself though, and matched the other's pace with difficulty. His abhorrence to any footwear was vastly affecting his thinking capacity and ability to focus in his environment.

"—Drugging my coffee was just low, even for your standard, Ryuuzaki. You could've just asked—"

"Aa…"

"—Not that I'd agree leaving the greatest case in the world just for a ridiculous and insanely stupid trip in the first place, but at least I deserve some of that respect—"

"Raito-kun."

"—Anyway, what kind of fool would pick a goddamn tour in a chocolate factory over solving a world-class crime—Did you just say something, Ryuuzaki?"

A boot flew straight at Raito's head, sending the brunette on the snowy ground with a grunt of pain. Wide, dark eyes stared at him impassively.

"Shut up."

Groaning, Raito pulled himself up, rubbing the side of his head gingerly. Then, he turned and glared icily at the detective who, unfazed at the younger man's rage, merely shifted the weight of his body on the other foot. "Why do you have to do that?"

L shrugged, delicately opening a packet of M&Ms with two fingers for each hand. "You were ranting like Matsuda-san."

Despite flushing hotly at the comment, Raito narrowed his eyes at the detective. "I was not ranting. I was merely stressing out points that you seem to forget—or ignore—regarding this arrangement. You do know I have human rights; you can't just deny me that, Ryuuzaki and the fact—"

"You're doing it again."

Raito fell silent and took deep, long, calming breaths. "I suppose you left the case to my father?"

"No. I left Matsuda-san in charge."

Raito choked on his own saliva. "W-what?"

"You heard me the first time, Raito-kun. There is no need to repeat it all over again." L shook the package of M&M's caught between his fingertips, only to find it empty. "To trust your father regarding a case wherein his son is held at suspicion is not very wise."

"But, to Matsuda-san, of all people," frowned Raito, dusting his shirt elegantly. Even after falling on the cold, wet ground, the younger man still appeared as dignified as ever. Even his hair was unruffled. L wondered vaguely how Raito was able to keep them flat.

"Matsuda-san would be a benefit to this case, as he has about to seventy six percent chance to say something completely illogical. When he does, the others will comment on the mistakes of his observation, and thus lead to a discovery of a new evidence." He tried to wiggle his toes again, to no avail. L looked sadly down at his sock-covered foot. "I detest socks."

"Then remove them. I actually think you deserve some frostbitten toes after all you've done to me."

"You speak as if I've abused you, Raito-kun."

"You _did_."

"Excuse me, sirs, but I do believe these are yours."

The quiet voice made the two prodigies turn. A boy of about twelve was looking at them politely; in his hands were a ten-dollar bill and L's discarded boot. Both of them reached out to take the proffered items.

"Thanks," said Raito to the boy, smiling appreciatively. L said nothing as he held the boot with his fingertips before dropping it into the snow-covered ground. He carefully slid his foot in it, shoving his hands on his pockets.

The boy smiled back at Raito. "You're welcome, sir."

Raito must have noticed something wrong with the boy's response as he bent slightly to meet the boy's eye level. "Are you hungry? My companion and I are just about to eat dinner. We'll treat you out, in gratitude for giving back our stuff. I'm Light Yagami, by the way."

The boy immediately blushed as he shook his head obstinately. "Oh, no, Mr. Yagami, sir! That'd be too much. Your thanks earlier are enough as it is. Besides, I'm not that hungry…"

Raito frowned. "I can hear your stomach growling from here. You don't have to make excuses, uh...?"

"Oh. Charlie Bucket, sir."

L belatedly realized how good Raito was with his English. Raito must have taken up English during his junior high years. As it was, the list of the FBI agents sent to Japan to investigate the Kira case were written in English.

Could that be another evidence indicating Raito was indeed Kira?

Filing that piece of information in his vast memory bank, he himself turned to the young man who, as with most people, was startled to meet his ringed eyes. "You have not eaten since this morning, and you have eaten only cabbage soup since last night. It is not particularly healthy habit."

Raito stared at him as if saying 'as if dieting with only sugar as your meal was healthy'. L ignored the brunette in favor of studying the shocked expression of the boy.

"H-how did you know that?" he asked incredulously. "U-um, mister…?"

L pointed to the tiny piece of green vegetable that had stuck in the boy's collar.

"Ryuga. Hideki Ryuga."

* * *

Charlie Bucket sighed dejectedly as he turned his gaze away from the magnificent view of Willy Wonka's chocolate factory. 

There was virtually no chance for him to win a Ticket in the first place. He only gets to eat a single Wonka chocolate bar since it re-opened four years ago for his birthday, and already, the one his parents bought for him didn't have any Golden Ticket in it. Same was true with Grandpa Joe's 'secret stash of wealth'. He remembered the sadness shining in his grandfather's eyes as they realized the bar held no shining gold paper in it.

Shaking the feeling of extreme disappointment, he pushed his hands in his coat's pockets and began his long walk home.

His stomach growled achingly, making him wince and put a hand over it. Cabbage soup was definitely not on his list of most delicious and nutritious meals. But the fact that his mother made it so lovingly was enough to make him not only withstand the soup's bland taste, but also to eat it with a genuine smile of contentment.

Charlie sighed.

If he had only won the Golden Ticket, it would have greatly pleased Grandpa Joe, who everyday reminisced his wonderful days as a factory worker for Mr. Wonka. If he had only won, he might have a chance to win the special prize. What great joy would it bring to his parents if the special prize would be just an eight of Mr. Wonka's vast fortune?

He sighed again.

Even though there had been no announcement that someone had found the last Golden Ticket, Charlie was sure someone already did. Maybe that last winner was actually here now in town, as the tour was scheduled for tomorrow.

A loud 'thud' made Charlie pause. There several feet ahead, were two young men. One had a blue bonnet perched precariously on his messy dark-hair was staring at his brown-haired companion who was sprawled on the ground. The latter picked himself up and was now dusting himself, and seemed to be in deep argument with the former.

Charlie then noticed that there was a silver chain connecting the dark-haired man to the brunette. He frowned. Are they criminals?

They can't be, though. From this distance, Charlie could hear various snatches of their conversation. The words '_To-san_, _iie_, _nani_, and _demo_' were enough to tell him that these men were foreigners.

His stomach growled again. He really should get a move on, although the prospect of the cabbage soup was not overly inviting.

As he passed, he noticed a dark boot lying in the snow. He looked around for anyone looking for a lost boot. There was none. Although, the dark-haired foreigner was missing his left one. Charlie supposed it was his. Bending to pick it up, he saw a green paper stuck in the snow near the boot.

It was a ten-dollar bill.

Charlie's hope surged upwards as he took the money and shook the snow off it.

Maybe… Just maybe… this lucky dollar will win him a Golden Ticket!

But then, that same hope came crashing down as the brunette's voice suddenly sounded bitter to Charlie's ears. He turned to the foreigners to see the brunette glaring at his companion.

Charlie instantly became guilt-ridden. Here he was, considering his chances of winning a tour in a chocolate factory while these foreigners might have been lost and doesn't have enough money to get back home.

He quickly scooped the fallen boot and approached them as politely as he could. "Excuse me, but I do believe these are yours."

Both of them turned to him, and he was stunned at how they looked. The brunette was handsome, with finely chiseled features. The dark-haired man, though, was looking quite unkempt, and had dark rings under his eyes, like he had slept for days. The lower half of the latter's face was covered by a white scarf.

The foreigners both reached out to take the items, with the dark-haired man lifting the boot with only his fingertips, as if he was allergic to it. Thankfully enough, the brunette seemed to understand English as he smiled warmly. "Thanks."

Charlie smiled back. "You're welcome, sir."

To his embarrassment, his stomach growled loudly again, in plain hearing of the brunette. Charlie attempted to cover it up by coughing slightly, but it was too late. The brunette bent down.

"Are you hungry? My companion and I are just about to eat dinner. We'll treat you out, in gratitude for being honest. I'm Light Yagami, by the way."

Charlie blushed, shaking his head profusely. "Oh, no, Mr. Yagami, sir! That'd be too much. Your thanks earlier are enough as it is. Besides, I'm not that hungry…"

"I can hear your stomach growling from here. You don't have to make excuses, uh...?"

"Oh. Charlie Bucket, sir," he said, still flushing red.

Then, the dark-haired man turned to him, the wide, dark-ringed eyes startling him again. "You have not eaten since this morning, and you have eaten only cabbage soup since last night. It is not particularly healthy habit," the man said in monotone.

Charlie's mouth dropped open in shock. "H-how did you know that?" he asked incredulously. "U-um, mister…?"

The man pointed at Charlie's collar. Looking down, he saw a tiny piece of cabbage that was stuck in it. "Ryuga. Hideki Ryuga," the man replied, pushing a finger against his lips.

The brown-haired man placed a hand over Charlie's shoulder and began to steer him to the nearest restaurant. "C'mon. We're kind of hungry too."

Charlie's mouth began to water as the savory aroma of stewed beef reached his nose. But he couldn't possibly accept such graciousness. "I'm sorry, Mr. Yagami, sir. I can't accept this. Please, my family—"

"Your family? Oh, okay. So we'll bring food to your family too."

Charlie was mortified. They are poor, but they are not beggars; that is what his father always tells him. What would his parents and grandparents say to this? "Oh, no, please. It's quite all right—"

"Don't bother," said the dark-haired man, chewing his thumb. The wide eyes shifted towards Charlie once more. "Once Light decides on something, it is rare that he changes his mind."

Soon enough, the brunette has two full bags of meal. Charlie was too amazed to say or do anything. "Here," he said, placing one bag on Charlie's hands. "Give this to your family in thanks of raising a good boy like you." He turned to the other man. "C'mon, Ryuga. Let's go back to the hotel."

But the dark-haired man was already moving towards a bakery. The brunette gave a sigh of annoyance before giving Charlie a smile and a nod, and following his companion.

Charlie, shaken out his stupor, called, "Thank you very much, sirs!"

He watched until the foreigners disappear within the bakery, arguing once more, it seemed, before Charlie made his way home again. He felt a good deal better since leaving the factory, all thanks to those strange but kind foreigners.

"Charlie, where did you get this?" his mother asked, shocked, when he served dinner later that night.

He smiled happily. "I chanced to pick up a ten dollar bill on the ground."

Grandpa Joe looked crestfallen, however. "I wish you bought a Wonka bar instead, Charlie. What joy it would be for us to visit Mr. Wonka's factory…"

"But then, we'll go to bed hungry tonight, won't we?" Charlie answered lightly, picking up his spoon to feed his senile grandmother. "I just thought it's better for us to warm our stomachs with soup than with chocolates."

Grandma Georgina patted his head and smiled happily. "Beef is nice, don't you think?"

Unseen to him, the rest of his family shared a smile, and began to eat in peace.

* * *

The next morning, Charlie leapt out of his bed in a flurry. He tossed his covers and shrugged on several layers of clothes before rushing downstairs, calling, "Mom! Dad! I'm going by the factory gates! The winners are already there!" 

"Slow down, Charlie," said Mr. Bucket, arranging his grandparents' blankets. "We'll be going there with you. Me, mom and your Grandpa Joe."

"Grandpa?"

"Yes, he's very persistent, stubborn old goop!" said Grandpa George, scowling. "Let me tell you, all he will say when you arrive there is how much he wants to go in the factory."

Indeed, that was all Grandpa Joe could talk about once they arrived with the throng of people converging at the gates. With misty eyes, he looked up at the factory gates.

"I still remember, Charlie, when Mr. Wonka first opened the shop. It was just a small shop once and—"

"Pop, look! There they are!" exclaimed Mr. Bucket, his bonnet askew with all the people pushing around. "The winners! But, why are there only four?"

Charlie managed to make his way to the front, and saw the huge gates of the chocolate factory looming above them. Directly below it were the winners of the Golden Tickets, all four of them. He felt the sharp disappointment of not being one of those standing there and was—wait… four?

His eyes slowly swept over the winners, mentally counting them. There was a rich-looking girl, staring haughtily around with her father standing proudly beside her; she would be the girl from Britain. The large boy who was eating (more like, gobbling) a chocolate bar, standing with his equally large mother. A girl with a bobbed blonde hair in a blue tracksuit, looking exactly like her mother. And finally, the sulking boy who was looking with contempt at his father.

Yes, there are four children. But wasn't there supposed to be five? Charlie frowned, just as the realization struck the crowd.

"—You mean the final ticket was still out there?"

"—The last ticket wasn't found—"

"—A chance! We still have chance to—"

"—It's almost ten. We should—"

But all fell quiet when the loud creak of the metal gates was heard. Slowly, the great gates swung open, and the booming voice of Willy Wonka was heard from his loud speakers.

"_**You may enter."**_

The winners and their parents moved forward.

"_**Come forward."**_

Charlie watched as the figures of the winners become smaller as they moved farther inside the courtyard.

"_**Close the gates."**_

As the gates closed with an air of finality in front of him, Charlie heard Willy Wonka speak again.

_**"Hear, visitors. It is my great pleasure to welcome you to my humble factory. And who am I? Well…"**_

**

* * *

**

**A/N:**

Hi! I'm back with L and the Chocolate Factory Chapter 2!

I'm sorry if there's not much DN here than I would like to add, but I just have to explain what happened to Charlie, since I would be removing him in the tour so that L and Raito could take his place.

The actual tour begins at the next chapter.. (-,-)v

Thank you so much for the reviews! I never expected this would draw in so much interest.. But you must admit, L really does suit the role.. ahehehe.. Mello would fit in as well, I think, but I love L more than him.. ahehehe.. (-,-;)

Please tell me what you think of this story.. Thanks again!


	3. Chapter 3

**L and the Chocolate Factory**

**Chapter III.**

* * *

"Have I told you you're strange, Ryuuzaki?"

"More often than necessary, Raito-kun."

"You do know we're trespassing, right? It is against the law. Aren't you supposed to be on the side of the law, being a detective?"

"This isn't trespassing as we are actually invited to enter."

"But we could at least use the front gates! Climbing over the wall of a factory doesn't seem to be a guest-like attitude."

L gave Raito a blank stare. "The opening ceremony is being covered by the media."

Raito paused.

Oh, of course. The elusive L, the world's greatest detective, would definitely hate being seen worldwide by potential enemies.

"We still could've used disguises," grumbled Raito, dusting his coat of the debris that fell as he scaled the wall. "Or at least removed this maddening chain. It would make climbing walls a whole lot easier, don't you think?"

L shook his head, swinging his lithe form over the wall with little difficulty, to Raito's extreme irritation, to crouch at the ledge. "I will not risk you killing off half the population of a city jail, Raito-kun."

Raito spoke through grinded teeth. "I'm not Kira!"

L did not reply and instead pulled Raito up with surprising strength to one so frail-looking. When both of them were sitting at the top of the wall, they were able to see the snow-laden courtyard upon which several figures were walking.

"That would be the others, right?" asked Raito, dusting off his coat of the dirt that clung to it. "We should probably join them soon—"

"On three, Raito-kun. One, two—"

"What? Ryuuzaki, I—"

"—Three."

With two dull thuds, they fell on the ground. It was fortunate that the snow was thick enough to cushion their fall. L was better prepared for the landing, as he landed on his feet, only falling over with the momentum of Raito's rather ungainly descent. Groaning, Raito picked himself up.

"Damn you, Ryuuzaki!" he growled, glaring at the snow-covered but otherwise unperturbed detective who was staring at something ahead. "I swear, I'm going to—" he paused, all thoughts of the painful things he'd make the detective do before he dies fleeing Raito's mind. "What… is that?"

A loud, blaring music had reached their ears.

_"**Willy Wonka, Willy Wonka the amazing chocolatier**_

_**Willy Wonka, Willy Wonka everybody give a cheer—"**_

L stood and began moving forward, transfixed, dragging Raito with him. He stopped besides the other transfixed audience of the horrible mechanical puppet show.

"—_**The greatest guy you'll ever meet! **_

**_Wonka here he is!"_**

Fireworks erupted from the background, setting fire to the dancing and singing puppets and began melting them. Everyone quietly watched as the puppets sputtered and rotated jerkily until they finally ceased moving, leaving a grotesque sight of melted puppets and burnt decorations.

The sound of applause and a giggle made Raito and the rest of the winners look at the source. A strange, pale-looking man wearing a top hat over his dark bobbed hair, and a long coat stood beside the rich girl's father.

"Isn't that just magnificent? I was worried it was getting a little dodgy in the middle part but then the finale," he snickered. "Wow!"

The strange man climbed up the stairs to face his unmoving audience.

"Who're you?" asked the blonde girl in a tracksuit rather rudely, gazing up to the man.

"Isn't it obvious?" said the irate-looking boy. The boy crossed his arms and threw a look of contempt at the man. "He's weird and looks absolutely ridiculous. He must be Willy Wonka."

Raito had to admire the man for not reacting to such rudeness. In fact, Wonka seems to have not heard the boy. Everyone stared expectantly at the self-proclaimed 'chocolatier'.

"Good morning starshine. The earth says hello!" Wonka said, smiling. His large, goggle-like shades glinting in the morning light, hiding half of the strange man's face.

As nobody reacted, his smile began to waver. Feeling awkward with the silence, Wonka whipped out his cue cards and began to read on them uneasily.

"_Dear guests, greetings. Welcome to the factory. I shake you warmly by the hand_," he paused to reach out a gloved hand, but changed his mind upon seeing the cold looks he was receiving, and continued reading instead. "_My name is Willy Wonka_—"

The British girl interrupted him, waving a hand on the stage. "Shouldn't you be up there?"

The man paused to look at the girl oddly. "Well, I couldn't very well watch the show from up there, now could I, little girl?" he turned to the others, gesturing forward. "Let's get a move on, kids."

Everyone began moving after Wonka inside the factory. L and Raito hung back until everyone was inside before following them.

"Wonka-san is odd."

"I could say the same about you. Honestly Ryuuzaki, he greatly reminds me of you. Are you sure you don't know your family? He might be your missing twin."

"Sarcasm does not really affect me, Raito-kun."

"Vouldn't you want to know our names?"

Raito heard the large boy asked as they stepped on the threshold. He saw Wonka push the doors open.

"I can't see why it matters," came the nonchalant answer.

As they enter the large hall, Wonka paused and removed his coat, tossing it carelessly on the carpeted floor. "Just drop your coats anywhere."

"Mr. Wonka, it sure is toasty in here," commented the irate boy's father, removing his coat.

Wonka turned, rather startled. "Oh?" he paused but continued after a few seconds of thought, smiling mysteriously. "Oh yea. I have to keep it warm in here because my workers are used to extremely hot climate. They just can't stand the cold."

He began to walk ahead, but the blonde girl intercepted him in mid-step, and throw her arms around him, making the man gasp audibly in shock.

"Mr. Wonka, I'm Violet Beauregarde."

Wonka was obviously highly uncomfortable, as he met the determined gaze of the young girl.

"Oh…" he muttered. She looked up to Wonka with a wide smile, which Raito found rather disgusting, as she continued on chewing her gum. "I don't care," he said finally, trying to pry her arms off him.

"Well, you should care," she said smugly. "Because I'm going to win the special prize in the end."

He gave her a look that vaguely resembles a grimace, finally extracting himself from the girl's hold, and stepping away. "Well, you seem to be pretty confident, and confidence is cute."

Barely had the blonde girl, Violet, look at her mother to receive an approving nod, had the other girl step in front of Wonka, effectively startling the chocolatier once more. She smiled brightly at him and curtsied elegantly.

"I'm Veruca Salt. It's very nice to meet you, sir."

Wonka, recovering from his surprise, paused. "I always thought 'veruca' was a type of wart that always stuck at the bottom of your foot. Haha!" he ignored the indignant look the girl gave him and moved away, only to have his path blocked yet again, this time by the large boy still munching on his chocolate bar.

"I'm Augustus Gloop. I love your chocolates."

Wonka gave the boy an appraising look. "I can see that," he paused. "So do I. I never expected we have much in common."

He made a move to step forward, but changed his mind, whirling instead to face the irate-looking boy who merely glared at him. "You. You're Mike Teavee. You're the little devil who cracked the system. And you—" turning towards L who, wide-eyed, pointed at himself. Wonka gave the longest pause so far, then frowned. "Who're you?"

L dug on his pants' pockets and produced the Golden Ticket, clamped between his fingers. "I've won the last ticket. Hideki Ryuga."

The others had, by now, noticed their presence and were gawking at them, or more specifically, at the chain connecting Raito and the detective. Mike, the irate boy, snorted in disgust. "Fags."

Raito resisted the urge to punch the little bastard, and shifted his attention instead to his companion and the chocolatier. Wonka's frown had deepened considerably while L merely chewed on the pad of his thumb.

"This contest is for children only."

"Forgive me, Wonka-san, but you did not specify that there is an age limit for this contest. I read and studied the contest rules, and I haven't seen any reason why I shouldn't be allowed to participate."

"Oh..." Wonka, apparently surprised by the detective's logic, raised his eyebrows. "That's true, I suppose," he said, blinking, recovering his composure. He studied L's bearing quite intently. "I'd like to ask though, do you love sweets?"

Raito understood Wonka's line of thinking. Majority of people turn their backs from candies and other sweet stuff once they leave childhood; Raito himself was one of these. But if Wonka hoped to throw L off the tour because of that question, the chocolatier would be in some disappointment.

L gazed at Wonka steadily. "I wouldn't be here if I don't, Wonka-san."

If Wonka was surprised by that statement, he did a good job hiding it. He smiled widely. "Well, then, I don't see any reason why I shouldn't allow you to join. Welcome."

He glanced at the grownups. "And you must be their p-p—"

Mr. Salt, noticing his struggle, supplied. "Parents."

Wonka glanced at him in relief. "Yea. Moms and dads. Dad…? Papa…?" he trailed off, his eyes getting misty. He fell silent, for a while to the confusion of his guests. Then, as if he noticed the weird looks he was being given, he shook out of his stupor and smiled that vague smile of his. He turned to Raito, gesturing to L. "You are his guardian?"

"No," said L, kicking his loosely tied boots from his feet, then wriggling his toes. "I guard him."

Raito would have knocked the detective's head if not a voice interrupted him. "What's your name?" It was the British girl, Veruca. She was looking at him with a look that somehow reminds him of Misa. He shuddered.

"I'm Light. Light Yagami."

"That's such a pretty name," she gushed, latching on his arm. "I'm Veruca Salt."

"Uh… Nice to meet you."

"I want you."

Raito choked. "E-excuse me?"

But the girl had already ignored him and turned to her father instead. "Daddy, I want him as my boyfriend."

Mr. Salt had paled considerably. "Veruca, darling, you're barely twelve years old and—"

Veruca's eyes had turned to slits. "I'll be thirteen this March, and then I'll be a _teen_. I want him as a MY boyfriend."

"I… see," muttered the man, deflating visibly at his daughter's persistence. Then, drawing himself up to his full height, he turned to Raito. "Well, Mr. Yagami, how much do you want?"

Raito could feel his jaw dropping. Was the man actually trying to buy him? A snort came from behind him, but Raito was too stunned to bother with L just then.

Veruca smiled happily at her father before looking back at Raito. "I'll have you."

"No, you won't," said another voice determinedly. It was the gum-chewing girl, Violet, who was holding on to Raito's other arm. Raito could feel a forming headache coming. She looked up at him, with the same sickening expression. "He's going to be MINE."

Having to deal with Misa for almost a year now, he had learned to tune out her endless (and pointless) babbling effectively. Now, he used the same ability as the two girls began arguing rather loudly. Their parents joined in as well, attempting to break up the forming fight between the girls. He sighed dejectedly.

"Still popular as ever, ne, Raito-kun?"

"Shut up, Ryuuzaki."

A loud, ear-splitting whistle made everyone clap their hands over their ears and flinch. As the last of the echoes faded, Raito opened his eyes to see Wonka calmly pocketing the whistle and removing his earplugs.

L also removed his.

"Where the hell did you get that?" asked Raito, incensed, his ear still ringing quite loudly.

L glanced at him, before handing back the earplugs to Wonka. "I borrowed it," answered the detective simply.

"Okay, then," called Wonka brightly, making his way in front of his visibly shaken guests. "Let's move along."

They began walking once more, with the two girls separated from Raito by their parents (to his great relief), and sized each other up.

Veruca smiled tightly. "Let's be friends."

Violet returned the smile. "Best friends."

They latched arms and looked away from each other with determined faces.

Augustus, walking besides L, approached the detective. "Vould you like some chocolates? I think you might need some seeing as you're so thin and all."

L studied the boy, an index finger tapping his lips. "I'd like to say that I want some, but judging by the way you eat and how you won, I don't think you'd give me some. You're an unpleasant boy with an appalling appetite. There is about three percent that you'd tell me to buy my own chocolates if I said I'd want some; the other 97 percent is that I've unnerved you enough to give me some chocolate out of your own will after I finish speaking."

Sure enough, the boy's eyes widened, and the chocolate-covered mouth dropped open. Almost unconsciously, he dug in on his pockets to produce an unopened Wonka bar and handed it out to L.

"Thank you."

The boy nodded weakly and moved hastily away. L peeled the wrapper deftly with his fingers, and bit on the chocolate. Seeing Raito's eyes on him, he asked, "Do you want some chocolate, Raito-kun?"

Raito fought the urge to roll his eyes. "No, I don't. Ryuuzaki, you've traumatized the kid."

"Iie. I was merely stating facts."

"Yeah, sure," said Raito, watching the Bavarian boy pushing his chocolate bar towards his mother who was looking rather shocked. "If I didn't know you any better, I'd say you enjoyed terrorizing him."

L didn't reply and continued eating his chocolate.

"Here we are, everyone!" said Wonka, stopping in front of a tiny door. "Behind this room is the chocolate factory."

Mike, looking at the door curiously, said, "But why is the door so small?"

Wonka gave a small smile. "It's to keep all the great big chocolately goodness inside."

He produced a key chain holding voluminous collection of keys of all shapes and sizes and bent down. He inserted the key and slowly pushed the doors open.

The smell of sugar hit Raito's nose at once, much more stronger than the worst of L's daily ration of sweets. He almost choked at the sudden heady smell.

"W-what the hell is this place?" he muttered. He felt sudden twitching at his right, and glancing swiftly, he saw L's eyes widening more than usual, his mouth open in a silent cry.

The guests entered the room with something akin to wonder as they stepped out in a huge green meadow amongst which, ran a river of melted chocolate. Trees bent over by the amount of fruits they held scattered over the meadow, candy canes littered the ground and the magnificent sight of the chocolate waterfall held the gaze of everyone.

"Now, do be careful, my dear children. Don't lose your heads. Don't get overexcited," drawled Willy Wonka as he led them in, obviously relishing their expressions of wonder and awe. He smirked. "Just keep very… calm."

L dropped the chocolate bar he had been munching earlier… and yelled at the top of his lungs.

**

* * *

**

**A/N:**

Edit - added some new phrases, edited names and other grammar stuff...

As you can see, I'm following the 2005 _**Charlie and the Chocolate Factory**_ movie. I'll be using many lines that was used there and alter them to fit my sequences.

Please tell me what you think of this story.. Thanks again!


	4. Chapter 4

**L and the Chocolate Factory**

**Chapter IV.**

* * *

There was a fall where luscious-looking creamy milk chocolate cascades. There were trees bent almost to the ground, heavy with unnaturally but oh so delightfully large, shiny marzipans in the shapes of fruits; its trunk of made something like green chewing gums. There were jellybeans shaped in large pumpkins of different colors, soft-looking marshmallows of red and white bunched up together to form a gigantic mushrooms, and toffee apples hanging abundantly on their twisted pink bubblegum trunks. Candies of various colors, shapes and sizes were littered abundantly on the rolling hills and grounds covered in green grass made in what looks like thinly-stretched taffy. Red and white striped candy canes shaped delicately into swirls leaned over the river of milk chocolate. 

He was vaguely aware of taking a step towards the wondrous sight. He could feel his eyes growing wider as the smell of sugar invaded his senses; his jaw dropped open slowly in a silent gasp, as his salivary glands kicked in hyper drive, letting a thin stream of drool leak from the corner of his mouth.

Never before had he felt anything like the feeling he was currently experiencing.

He swallowed the large lump forming in his throat, as he took another step forward.

_This place… Is this… heav—?_

The chain snapped taut, jerking his mind back to the present.

Turning, L saw a group of people staring at him with wide eyes and wearing the same shocked expression, except for two individuals. The chocolatier was openly giggling, bent almost to his knee from his humor, while Raito was gripping the chain, which he had apparently pulled, and giving him one of the deadliest glares on earth (quite literally, if the fact that Kira only needs a face and a name in order to kill).

He blinked.

Once.

Twice.

Then, shoving his hands on his pockets, he said to the group, "I'm not much of a sociable person, but is it not rude to stare?"

Everyone, except the chocolatier, almost face faulted to the ground. Wonka simply doubled over and giggled some more.

Raito, recovering first, turned to Willy Wonka and the others with an apologetic smile. "Excuse me, everyone."

L watched his companion lose his friendly mask, strode towards him and dragged him away from the group. Somehow, Raito's glare was much more intimidating up close; not that L was bothered by such.

Grimacing slightly from the force in which Raito yanked his arm, L met his companion's eyes. "Is something wrong, Raito-kun?" he asked as politely as he could without smacking the younger man's face.

"Wrong? You tell me what's wrong!" hissed Raito, yanking his arm once more before rounding in on him. "Making a scene like that!"

L gingerly rubbed his arm. "What do you mean?"

"Don't play dumb with me, Ryuuzaki!" Raito crossed his arms over his chest and scowled. "What was that all about?"

"I died."

Raito scoffed. "Sure you did. You're in heaven now, right? What with all this diabetic, sugar-filled stuff all around you, this certainly must've been your vision of 'eternal bliss'."

"Raito-kun..."

"What?"

"Are you actually being sarcastic?"

"Oh no, I'm being perfectly honest. We just buried you yesterday, you know?" snapped Raito, very obviously trying hard not to roll his eyes, as such movement is too childish and immature.

"Oh…" L muttered, turning away and latching his thumb against his lips. "So Kira did manage to kill me. I wonder how he was able to do that..."

"You didn't have to be so lighthearted about it!" yelled Raito, incensed.

"Hm, Kira would probably think the same way if he knew."

"What the—Ryuuzaki, you're not implying I'm Kira again, are you? That's got to be one of the stupidest—" Raito paused, and then took a deep breath, obviously in an effort to calm himself. "Anyway, Ryuuzaki, you're not dead. You're very much alive, and unless you suffered a temporary amnesia while you salivated over the amount of sugar in this room, we're actually on tour in the world's biggest chocolate factory with, by the way, a group of people you have just successfully freaked out."

L blinked, sparing the group behind them a glance.

"Ne, Ryuuzaki. What did happen?"

At the younger man's _almost_ pleading (because Kira would never plead for anything) tone, L decided to tell the truth. Even if he was 98 percent certain Raito would react quite violently.

"I simply thought that Kira had managed to kill me and for some reason, I was sent to heaven," he said, rubbing his foot against the other. Then, glancing pointedly at the brunette, he continued, "But then I saw you standing there, and concluded this wasn't heaven, and I'm alive after all."

"What are you implying?" demanded Raito, looking indignant.

"That if this is heaven, then I wouldn't be with the person who just murdered me."

L was a second too late to notice that he pushed Raito's buttons too hard this time. A fist hitting his face making him sprawl face down on the sweet smelling ground made him look at his companion blankly. The younger man was standing over him, both hands fisted at his side, his eyes narrowed as he glared at L.

A throat being cleared made both break their glaring match.

They turned to see Wonka standing near them with a rather strained smile. "Now if you gentlemen are done conveniently ruining the general patronage rating of this tour, then may we proceed?"

The prodigies exchanged a look.

"People," the chocolatier called, without waiting for their answer, turning to the group with a wide smile. He led them by the river bank to view the flowing chocolate river. "Every drop of the river is hot melted chocolate of the finest quality," he paused, and gestured towards the chocolate waterfalls. "The waterfall is most important. It mixes the chocolate; churns it up. Makes it light, and frothy. And by the way—"

"There's no other chocolate factory in the world mixes its chocolate by waterfall, are there not?" asked L, coming over to stand by the group. "This idea was quite new and innovative in candy-making business, although there is about 58 percent chance that other companies will adapt the same process in mixing their chocolates as well in a year or two."

Everyone stared at L.

Wonka was visibly saddened. "You ruined a perfectly good moment for me to boast my factory."

But L was already ignoring the chocolatier and was looking upwards. "Pipes."

The rest automatically looked up.

"Ah, yea, those are pipes," said Wonka, recovering his composure and bouncing on his feet. "Suck up the chocolates—"

"—They carry the chocolates all over the factory, don't they? Maybe about 3,500 gallons per hour," interjected the Teavee boy, scowling. He noticed the looks of surprise thrown at him. "What?" he snapped. "It's obvious from the diameter of the suction hole that it will hold at least that much chocolate. I mean, can't you tell?"

The boy was observant, L mused, even if a little too full of himself.

"Well, we don't actually go on tours on chocolate factories to measure pipes' diameters," said Violet, rolling her eyes. She gave a little yelp of surprise when L stopped next to her, curling his toes on the grass.

"Numbers are quite essential, even on this tour," he said, ignoring the huff of indignation of the girl. "That way, you can predict the number of chocolate bar that this factory produce and how it came to be that one of the five limited tickets fell on your hands. Teavee-kun was ninety-two percent accurate, as I believe these pipes would carry exactly 3,754 gallons. It is a fascinating machinery, given its mobility through the use of thousands of bundled fiber optic cords for the suspension cords. Very durable, yet flexible at the same time."

Mike glanced upwards with a small frown. He opened his mouth to say something when Wonka shoved a handful of grass on his face.

"Do you like my meadow?" the chocolatier asked pleasantly, a satisfied smirk gracing his pale features. "Isn't it so much better to eat in peace than mumble something no one can understand?"

The young genius immediately choked, spewing the stuff on the floor in disgust. "What the f—"

His dad immediately frowned, "Language. Mike, language."

"Dad, he just shoved grass in my mouth! I'm not a cow!"

The chocolatier was already moving among the tourists, passing them handful of grass. "Try some of my grass! Please have some, please do. It's so delectable, it's so darn good looking—"

Veruca stared at the green candy in her hands with a raised eyebrow. "You can eat the grass?"

Wonka smiled, obviously pleased at the question. "Of course you can. Everything in this room is eatable. Even I'm eatable. But that is called cannibalism, my dearest children, and is in fact frowned upon by most society."

The adults and Raito exchanged bothered looks. Wonka then waved the children off, telling them to eat their fill. The children, immediately scattered, followed by their parents who were still eying Wonka, who was smiling quite contentedly, rather dubiously. The brunette turned to his companion.

"Ryuuzaki, we should watch our backs. I've got a feeling something bad is going to happen anytime so—" he stopped abruptly, realizing he was talking to thin air.

L had never felt more helpless in his life.

He was crouched beside a luscious looking marzipan, shaped as a cherry, having one a heated debate in his mind. On his palms sat one the largest marshmallow he had ever held, while on his feet littered brightly colored jellybeans and caramel nougats.

He was at the point of despair when Raito crouched beside him with an incredulous expression. "When the hell have you gathered all of those? I could swear you were just standing beside me seconds ago."

"Raito-kun," he said morosely, and he was 97 percent sure that Raito he had just made the younger man choke on his own saliva. After all, who would have thought the great detective L would be so emotional? But a split-second later, the surprise was gone, replaced by annoyance.

Raito glared at him. "If you're about to pester me which are you going to devour first, then don't bother. I say close your eyes and eat whatever you grab first and then both of us will be—ARRGGH! THAT WAS MY HAND, YOU IDIOT!"

"But Wonka-san said everything was eatable…"

"That doesn't mean we're turned into something edible when we stepped in here! Honestly, Ryuuzaki. Even if you say sweets help make you think, I still believe it's counter productive, most especially to your sanity."

"That may be, but still…" L trailed off, poking the marshmallow solemnly. He glanced at Raito again, but paused. "Oh, by the way, Raito-kun…"

"What?"

"LIGHT!!!"

And Raito was tackled to the ground by two slender bodies that instantly rounded on to each other. Each was holding a sweet in her hands and wearing a fierce scowl of a woman on a mission.

"Get your hands off him!" said Violet crossly.

"You stay away from my boyfriend!" snapped Veruca.

"…Your fangirls are here," L finished. He picked up a jellybean on the ground and popped it in his mouth, relishing the explosion of sugar in his taste buds.

"Thanks for the warning," Raito snarled, and pulled himself up with a groan. With a great effort, he re-arranged his expression into something frendlier (although the twitching of his left eye became noticeable for the first time in the tour) and turned to the bickering girls in an attempt to placate them.

L _almost_ pitied his companion. Having one Misa back in Japan was enough to drive the young man running for cover even in broom closets with automatic locks. This time, he was handling two at once. He _almost_ pitied the other prodigy, but he was enjoying the show more.

"If you must know, Raito-kun prefers dark chocolates and peanut butter ensembles. He does not suffer eating any fruit-based, strangely-shaped and anything with nougat confectionaries."

At first, the girls fell silent and stared at him with unreadable expressions. Then as one, they both dropped their respective sweets and dashed off to get the said desired items.

Raito soundlessly turned to him, as L picked up the candy apple and bunny-shaped milk chocolate that the girls left on the ground.

"I'm… I'm not actually sure whether to thank you for driving them away, or strangle you to death for feeding fuel to the fire…"

L shrugged. "Whatever works, Raito-kun."

"Daddy! Look over there! What is it? It's a little person! Over there, by the waterfall."

Both prodigies turned to where Veruca Salt's accented voice was heard. She was standing with her father near the bank pf a chocolate river and was looking towards a hill some feet away.

By the time L and Raito reached her, everyone else was already congregated nearby. They were all staring at a small man, wearing red jumpsuit with a sweeping hairstyle who was busily rolling a pumpkin-shaped jellybean almost twice his size.

Mrs. Beauregarde pointed to another of the strange being working downhill. "There are two of them."

Mr. Teavee shook his head, staring intently at the group of small men rolling yellow candies on the opposite bank. "There's more than two."

"Vhere do they come from?" asked Mrs. Gloop in wonder.

Violet scrunched up her nose in disgust. "Are they real people?"

"Of course they're real people," said Wonka indignantly, obviously offended by the question. "They're Oompa-loompas."

Mr. Salt frowned, and repeated. "Oompa-loompas?"

"Correct. Direct from Loompaland."

Mr. Teavee pulled himself up to his fullest height, his face stern. "There's no such place."

Even though Wonka was standing right beside Mr. Teavee, the chocolatier asked dispassionately, "What?"

"Mr. Wonka, I teach high school geography. And I'm here—"

"Then, you'll know all about it and what a terrible country it is," said Wonka, displeasure written across the usually merry face. The chocolatier ignored the incredulous look Mr. Teavee gave him, and fell completely silent.

Everyone was looking at each other questioningly as their host stood unmoving with his eyes blank and unfocused.

Five minutes later, Violet trudged up at Wonka, blowing her gum in the process. "What's wrong with him?"

"Now, now, Violet," admonished Mrs. Beauregarde, who looked just like her bubblegum-chewing daughter, frowned. "You mustn't disturb Mr. Wonka. Although, I do wonder why he's like that."

"He's in a flashback," L said, popping several more jellybeans into his mouth. "Probably about his journey to Loompaland and how he recruited the Oompa-loompas to work for him. Oompa-loompas revere cocoa like a god, so naturally, when Wonka-san offered to let them work in a place chock-full of cocoa, they agree immediately."

Raito gave L a sidelong glance. "How do you know that's the flashback he's having?"

"He's rather sensitive about the subject."

"Oh, don't tell me you believe that tale!" Mr. Teavee, who became more upset after hearing the prodigies' words, cried. "There's no such place as Loompaland. Isn't there, Mr. Yagami?"

Raito, taken aback at the sudden question, blinked. "Well… I have never heard of such place."

Mike, who was currently smashing a nearby marzipan, suddenly looked up. He scowled and pushed his hands on his pockets. "Looks like the idiot's coming 'round."

Sure enough, Wonka blinked, before smiling contentedly. "They are such wonderful workers," he said, sighing. Then, turning to the tourists, he added, a strange light glinting in his smiling eyes. "I feel I must warn you though: they are rather mischievous... Always making jokes…"

Raito nudged L, eyes narrowing in discomfort. "Ne, Ryuuzaki. Is it just me, or was that smile too evil for comfort?"

L himself felt a little tremor running down his back. He glanced backwards just in time to hear Mrs. Gloop gasp in distress, "Augustus, my child! That is not a very good thing to do!", making the object of the woman's distress visible to him. Her son, Augustus was doubled over the riverbank, scooping the liquid chocolate in his palms and drinking it.

Raito shook his head and sighed tiredly. "That scene has disaster written all over it."

L silently agreed.

Wonka strode forward, and said uneasily, "Hey, little boy! My chocolate must be untouched by human hand!"

Then, Augustus fell into the river with a short cry, making everyone but L, Raito and Wonka gasp. L was too busy pocketing several toffee bars and jellybeans, Raito was trying hard to make the twitching of his left eye less visible, and Wonka was grimacing slightly at his ruined chocolate.

Mrs. Gloop was panicking. She even dropped her handbag, letting the candies she had stuffed in earlier scatter on the ground, as she fell on her knees on the bank in an attempt to reach her drowning son. "My son! He can't swim! Save him!"

A loud whirring sound caught everyone's attention. The pipes were descending on to the river, and when it did, began to suck huge amount of chocolate in its tube-like compartments.

Everyone was silent, even Mrs. Gloop although hers was shocked horror, as they watched the massive pipes suck in Augustus, who was yelling in panic amidst the swirling chocolate and noise of the machinery. He disappeared beneath the river of chocolate, making his mother let out a strangled gasp, but reappeared a few moments later within the pipe gasping for air, where the suction was powerful enough to pull him upwards with the rest of the chocolate.

"There he goes," said Violet, her eyes, together with the rest of the tourists', following Augustus trapped form shooting upwards in the pipes.

"Call the fire brigade!" cried Mrs. Gloop, remembering to panic this time, what with her son in danger of being squished in the narrow pipes.

Mrs. Beauregarde watched transfixed. "It's a wonder how that pipe is big enough."

"It isn't big enough," said Veruca, crossing her arms over her chest. "He's slowing down."

Mike grimaced. "He's gonna stuck."

Mr. Teavee swallowed nervously and nodded. "I think he has."

"He's blocked the whole pipe," said Mr. Salt, wiping the thin sheet of sweat that covered his forehead with his immaculate handkerchief.

L however, was not staring at the boy and his dilemma in the pipes. He was looking curiously at the red-clad, little men on the other side of the bank. Raito must have noticed his lack of observation, making the younger man poke him lightly.

"Ryuuzaki?"

"The Oompa-loompas… They're singing and dancing…"

Raito followed the path of the detective's gaze, and as expected, the elegant eyebrows shot upwards in surprise.

"No, there's more to that," Raito frowned, watching the little men setting up their 'stage'. "They're having a frigging production show going on."

**

* * *

A/N:**

Alright, where have I been? Don't I know that there's a lot of people who reviewed and favorited, and waited oh so patiently for my little crack of a story during the last -omfg- 5 months? Now, bow to them! Bow! (o.o)

Right. I was gone for such a looong time. I'm so sorry for that. But really, I can't believe how many people were interested in this story! It makes me all warm and fuzzy inside! Thank you so much! (-,-) I hope I didn't disappoint those who have been waiting for this chapter...

Oh, and by the way, can anyone give me a link where I can watch Charlie and the Chocolate Factory online? My super HD copy of the movie was accidentally deleted… It was… sad. (T.T) Thanks again!


	5. Chapter 5

**L and the Chocolate Factory**

**Chapter V.**

* * *

Needless to say, everyone was stunned into silence as they watched the Oompa-loompas' performance. It was… well… _disturbing_… for the lack of a better term.

The little men ran up and down the chocolate hills, poked and rolled several more candies around anddove into the melted chocolate river to do some sort of synchronized swimming. Not only do the Oompa-loompas looked alike, they also moved AS ONE PERSON.

Seriously, it was beyond creepy.

By the time the Oompa-loompas are done with their song, Raito was determined to dump all his red shirts in a shredder and burn them after. In fact, once he achieved his Utopia, he would most certainly declare wearing red illegal.

Especially red leather.

_That_ would result in death. No questions asked.

The stunned silence left by the little natives was broken by the sound of clapping. Raito, along with everyone else, turned to the chocolatier.

"Bravo! Well done! Aren't they delightful? Aren't they charming?" Wonka positively beamed.

"I don't say…they seem rather rehearsed." And thus, Mr. Salt skeptically voiced out everyone's opinion.

"Like they knew what's going to happen," added Mike, staring at the cave where the Oompa-loompas disappeared.

Wonka opened his mouth indignantly, but L apparently decided it was high time for him to state the obvious.

"Oh, the pipes are moving," L said.

Apparently, the detective had finished off his stock of jellybeans and was now sucking on a piece of toffee candy.

The detective's words set Mrs. Gloop in a state of panic once more. She rounded on the beaming chocolatier with an expression that looked like a cross between apprehension and anger.

"Vhere is my son? Vhere does that pipe go to?" she demanded.

"The chocolates those pipes gather go to different parts of the factory, ne, Wonka-san?" asked L, following the movement of the pipes with his eyes, but otherwise perfectly content standing there with his treat.

"Yes, that's absolutely correct," said Wonka, nodding happily. "That pipe, just so happen to lead directly to the room where I make the most delicious kind of strawberry-flavored chocolate-coated fudge."

Raito choked in his saliva, along with everyone else that was not the eccentric chocolatier and a happy, toffee-sucking detective. It was of course the mother of the boy-about-to-become-a-chocolate-fudge who gasped out at the implication of the statement.

"Then he will be made into strawberry-flavored chocolate-coated fudge, and be selling him by the pound all over the world!" she all but shrieked.

Everyone took a moment to quietly ponder her words. Three seconds later everyone, except for Mrs. Gloop and a detective lost in a sugar la-la land, blanched.

"No. I wouldn't allow it. The taste will be terrible," Wonka said truthfully. He ignored the shocked/offended gasp of the Bavarian woman and continued as if he simply couldn't figure out how she came up with that assumption. "Can you imagine Augustus-flavored chocolate-coated Gloop? Eww. No one would buy it."

Raito, instinctively knowing that the Bavarian woman was about to throw an indignant screech, decided to hastily save his ears from the incoming torment.

"Don't worry too much, Mrs. Gloop. I'm sure your son is fine. The song did emphasized that Augustus 'will not be harmed'," Raito said, giving her his most charming smile.

As expected, she relaxed, and the other females within the group collectively sighed a dreamy sigh.

"Should I believe this strange man then Light, my boy?" asked Mrs. Gloop rather affectionately, stepping closer to Raito. He, in turn, wanted to step backwards, but did not want to appear rude.

"You shouldn't," put in Mike, crossing his arms and glaring at the chocolatier. "I mean, who would believe a wei—"

"Mike," admonished Mr. Teavee.

"Of course we should believe him. After all, Mr. Wonka IS responsible for the safety of the guests in HIS chocolate factory, is he not?" Raito said confidently, directing his gaze to the mysteriously smiling chocolatier.

"Of course, of course!" Wonka replied rather hastily, still smiling. "Now then…"

Abruptly, the chocolatier turned and made a noise with his tongue. Surprisingly, an Oompa-loompa approached them and bowed to Wonka, who bent down to address his helper.

"I want you to take Mrs. Gloop up to the Fudge Room, kay? Help her find her son. And take a long stick and start poking around in the big chocolate-mixing barrel. Kay?"

He did some sort of salute and fondly watched as the little native proceeded to tug on Mrs. Gloop's skirt to lead her away. She threw the group a hesitant glance, but since no one reacted, she dejectedly let herself be dragged.

"Mr. Wonka."

"Haa?"

Raito sighed. He knew he was going to regret this. But his genius mind can't seem to process one thing: "Why does Augustus' name be already in the song? Unless it has been pla—"

"Improvisation is a neat trick. Anyone can do it," said Wonka, interrupting rudely. He ignored Raito's put off expression and turned to the gum-chewing girl, waving a hand in her face. "You, little girl. Say something. Anything."

She paused.

"Chewing gum," she said, predictably.

"'Chewing gum is really gross, chewing gum I hate the most.' See? Exactly the same," Wonka smirked, obviously proud at his little rhyme.

"No, it isn't," stated Mike plainly.

Wonka gave him the look. Not just any look. THE Look. "Aah, you really shouldn't mumble, cause I can't understand a word you're saying."

Everyone froze at the rather spiteful words of the chocolatier. The only sounds that broke the sudden silence was the rumbling of the chocolate waterfalls and the sound of someone _still_ happily sucking the life out of a toffee candy (not that it had a life in the first place).

But then, the tense atmosphere broke when Wonka grinned widely and said cheerfully, "Now. On with the tour?"

Raito and L, as was their habit since the tour began not two hours ago, fell back from the rest of the group. Or rather, Raito had to go and drag L away from the candy tree that had held the detective's absolute focus on for the last five minutes or else be left behind by the group.

"The song was deliberate," L said suddenly.

Raito raised an eyebrow. It seemed that the detective left the sugar la-la land. Finally. "You noticed."

"You think too little of my skills." L looked as affronted as he could look with his blank expression.

"I'm not exactly insulting you, you know," said Raito defensively. "It's just that your whole attention was on that candy of yours. I didn't think you were paying the rest of us any attention."

"Oh," said L. "I didn't think you'd be able to commit any murder just then. Did you manage to kill some criminal then?"

Raito's eye twitch returned. "Ryuuzaki, I told you I'm not Ki—"

"Then, would you rather I focus all my attention to you?" asked L bluntly.

"That was not what I meant!" Raito growled. He was not sure what offended him more, being interrupted in the middle of a sentence _twice_ within thirty minutes by two weirdoes or being suspected having an attention-craving disorder. "You know, we're getting terribly off topic now."

The detective paused in his steps.

"Considering that this is a contest and having a special prize for an individual winner, the percentage of Wonka-san conducting an elimination strategy is very high," L commented, plucking a tiny candy fruit 'growing' nearby and popping it in his mouth.

Raito nodded. "That was a fact. But I didn't think he would endanger anyone, especially since his guests were mostly children," he said. Then he frowned. "I wonder what the Oompa-loompas meant by the line 'he will be altered quite a bit'…"

L thoughtfully stared after the chocolatier walking ahead of the group. "As of this time, we don't have much information about Wonka-san's personality. The song was deliberate, that much is certain, but the actual fall of the boy into the river was purely accident. You could say that it was as if Wonka-san _knew_ the boy will fall in."

"How can he know that, though? He could, of course, have studied each of our behavior patterns once the tour began, but the time isn't enough to createanelaborate production like that. Even as observant as we are, we can't take that much detailed information within two hours. And we have experience, at that. Unless…" Raito frowned, trailing off.

L met his eyes. "He had the winners checked."

They both fell silent as they followed the rest of the group by the bank of the chocolate river. Everyone seems to be looking at something in the river. Raito was about to ask, only the answer floated (literally) into view before he voiced out inquiry.

It was a large seahorse, made of bright pink candy. In it sat about two dozen Oompa-loompasholding long oars, with a single drummer to set the rhythm sitting at the bow. And they were… chuckling amusedly.

"What's so funny?" asked Violet, raising an eyebrow.

Wonka stepped beside her and smiled at his workers. "I think it's from all those doggone cocoa beans…" he paused, and then added brightly. "Oh, by the way, did you guys know that chocolates contain properties that triggers the release of endorphins, gives one the feeling of being in love."

"You don't say…" Mrs. Beauregarde purred. For some reason, the woman enjoyed watching Wonka fidget in discomfort.

The chocolatier's words, however, sent a sense of dread within Raito. And it came not a heartbeat later.

"Is that true?" two shrill voices demanded as one.

Said owners then proceeded to glare at each other.

"Daddy," said Veruca, without breaking eye contact with her rival. "I want ten trucks of Wonka's Whipple-Scrumptious Fudgemallow Delight delivered right at Light's house by tomorrow. Make sure that he eats them all."

"Mom, I'll be winning that national cart-wheel competition, the world cooking challenge and the annual youth tap dance contest you've been aiming for. We'll buy Light favorite chocolates, then, you'd allow me to live with Light, alright?" said Violet haughtily.

Raito suppressed the urge to wince as both Mr. Salt and Mrs. Beauregarde scowled angrily at him. "I don't even like chocolates," he said rather weakly in self-defense.

"Raito-kun, what an awful thing to say," admonished L, surprising the younger man. He had never seen the detective look more disappointed.

But, why such a tone? There's definitely something missing here…

Well, damn… the vast quantity of sugar around must be really affecting L's behavior and way of thinking.

In a not-so-good manner.

Raito had never missed his Death Note as much as he did at that point.

Turning to the girls, L bowed slightly. "Forgive my friend's slip of tongue. He really does like chocolates. So please go ahead and deliver chocolates as much as you can. I'll give you the add—MMPPH!"

"I'm sorry, everyone," said Raito apologetically, starting to drag L away from the group. "I'll borrow my companion for a bit again."

Once they reached some feet away from the others, Raito scowled at the detective whose mouth he had clamped shut.

The missing piece fell perfectly into place. And Raito did NOT appreciate it at all.

"What the hell are you doing, Ryuuzaki?" hissed Raito in rapid and angry Nihongo meant only for Ryuuzaki's ears. "Stop using me as bait for more sweets, dammit! You'd even give them the headquarter's location!"

L blinked.

"What, don't you have anything to say?"

L blinked again. Then twice.

"Okay, you're really annoying me now…"

L blinked. Then twice. Then—

"Oh… Heh… Sorry."

L, being able to breathe freely again, took a deep breath. "I can't help it. It was for free."

"Hn… Whatever. Let's go. And for goodness' sake, just don't open your mouth if what you're going to say is unimportant!"

L gave him a pointed look. "I never say anything unimportant."

"Hn, I don't care. C'mon. We drew enough attention as it is."

The two went back and saw everyone already seated in the floating, pink 'candified' sea horse boat, leaving the last row by the stern empty. Wonka was waiting for them by the shore.

"All aboard!" Wonka said cheerfully, gesturing that they go first in the seat. Once L and Raito were seated, Wonka sat himself beside them and called to the Oompa-loompas, "Onward!"

Drum beats began, and the Oompa-loompas started rowing away.

Wonka bent down near the side of the boat before holding out a ladle filled with hot melted chocolate from the river in front of Raito's face. "Here. Try some of this; it'll do you good."

Raito narrowed his eyes at the offered treat. "No, thank you. I'm—WHAT THE HECK? Ryuga, dammit!"

Thus, Raito's sentence was interrupted once more, as L leaned across his seat to sip the liquid chocolate in the ladle.

Well, _that_ in itself wasn't so bad. But if you were riding in a boat in a swiftly moving chocolate river, then it is to be expected that something_ bad _was bound to happen.

And all of Raito's inborn instincts announced that it would be bad for _him_.

Sure enough, dark stains were splotched on the younger prodigy's once-immaculate business coat. Some of the sweet and sticky splotches even hit Raito's cheek. L and Wonka both stared at the stains quietly.

A glob of chocolate slid from Raito's shoulder and fell onto his lap with a loud _splat_.

Raito's left eye began twitching once more.

Then, L spoke. "It was good."

"That's because it was mixed by a waterfall," said Wonka proudly, as if nothing happened. His tone drew the attention of the rest of the group. And Wonka was obviously pleased by this reaction. "The waterfall is most important. Mixes the chocolate, churns it up. Makes it light, and frothy. And by the way, no other factory in the world—"

"You've already said that," Veruca commented, arching an eyebrow.

Wonka opened his mouth uncertainly, not sure what to say next as he met the kids' (and their parents') expectant eyes. Finally, he settled with saying, "You're all quite sharp, aren't you?"

"Well, yeah, we're _children_," scoffed Violet in her best DUH tone.

"Mr. Wonka," said Raito, feeling the twitches in his eye doubled its spasms. "May I please ask for a stop over in the nearestwash room?"

But Wonka was too indignant at Veruca's words to pay attention to Raito. "Well, that's no excuse. Cause I was never as short as you."

Mike decided to butt in the growing argument. "You were once."

"Was not. You know why?" sneered Wonka, pausing to give suspense before finally smugly disclosing, "Because I distinctly remember putting a hat on top of my head."

Everyone (except the last row) collectively raised an eyebrow at that, before turning away to tune out their snarky host. Raito decided it was time to make himself heard once more.

"Mr. Wonka, please. At least let us go ashore in one of your rooms and let me wash my face." Damn, if he can't appeal to the chocolatier's logical side, then at least Raito knows how to _plead_ (never beg… a god never _begs_…).

"I don't suppose you remember much of your childhood then, Wonka-san?" L asked almost out of the blue.

The detective sat in his usual fashion on Raito's left, gnawing his thumb and looking morosely back at the Chocolate Room. He gave an uncharacteristically long sigh, and glanced at the chocolatier, waiting for an answer.

The chocolatier's eyes turned pensive. "Oh, boy, do I…" he said, his voice trailing off dreamily. "Do I…?" then, he fell completely silent.

"Great. Just perfect. You sent him in a flashback," Raito groaned, glaring at L. He was glad to see some chocolate hit L as he turned, but his triumph was short-lived, as L merely scooped the messy chocolate from his pants with a finger and licked it nonchalantly.

Violet and her mother were discussing the various tournaments the younger Beauregarde would be entering once she won the individual prize. Mike was currently throwing jellybeans at the rowing Oompa-loompas, chuckling quietly when one of them fell of his seat while Mr. Teavee half-heartedly tries to get him to stop. Veruca, on the other hand, was staring hard at Raito.

"Light, is that… _chocolate_ on your hair?" she asked incredulously.

Restraining the urge to somehow summon Ryuk and hand him his Death Note that very instance, Raito forced himself to smile.

"Aah, I'm afraid it is. I had the misfortune of someone accidentally spill his melted chocolate over me," he said, twitching. Then, an idea clicked in his head. He smiled his most charming smile towards the girl, who immediately blushed bright pink. "But I'm sure Mr. Wonka will have everything sorted out soon. After all, he does need to cater to his guests' concerns, right?"

Wonka, who had just woken from his flashback sequence, suddenly found himself facing the most demanding expression he had ever seen on a twelve year old's face. "What?" he asked rather apprehensively.

"Stop the boat," Veruca demanded. "Light needs to 'freshen up. Bring him a set of clean clothing as well."

Everyone turned to witness the ongoing drama. Violet, obviously jealous at the attention her rival received from their object (but _person_ really) of affection, immediately jumped into the fray.

"Light! You're not hurt, are you?" asked Violet, scanning Light's less-than-perfect appearance before throwing the men in either side of the brunette an angry look. "Alright, which one of you punks hurt Light?"

L and Wonka exchanged blank looks.

"Aah, I'm not really hurt. But thank you for being concerned," Raito told Violet kindly, making her shyly return his smile. "I simply need to go to the washroom, but…" he waved helplessly at the moving boat.

Now, Wonka found himself pinned by not one, but _two_ demanding stares.

The chocolatier squirmed slightly. "Eheh, I think we're about to go into the tunnel anyway," he said hastily, tearing his eyes away from the girls', and staring at the looming arc ahead. "Ah, full speed ahead!"

Distracted, everyone momentarily forgot the issue at hand and looked up in wonder at the great tunnel. They were given a last glimpse of the vast and wondrous Chocolate Room before plunging into the semi-darkness.

Violet, in spite of herself, asked, "How can they see where they're going?"

Wonka paused, the mysterious smile crawling across his lips. Then, everyone (except for an incredibly morose detective and a supremely irritated -and sticky- teen) felt a cold shiver ran in their backs at the chocolatier's next words.

"Oh, they can't."

* * *

**A/N: **

**First of all, those lines you recognize from the movie, well..obviously they're not mine.. I'll edit the chapters after I finished the story so that proper credit can be given to the writers.. **

Oh, what fun! I din't take five months this time! Lucky! (-,-;) -wtfeet, I sound like Prince of Tennis' Sengoku! damn his hotness!-

If you want the lyrics of the Augustus song, just Google up 'augustus song lyrics' and voila! (-,-)

Please tell me what you think of this story.. Thanks a lot!


	6. Chapter 6

**L and the Chocolate Factory**

**Chapter VI.**

* * *

"What do you mean 'they can't'?" demanded Mr. Salt, one hand gripping the edge of his seat tightly while holding Veruca's hand with the other.

"There's no knowing where they're going," said Wonka merrily, promptly ignoring the incredulous stares the adults (and Raito) threw at him. "Switch on the lights!"

Instantly, the tunnel was illuminated with soft whitish yellow light. It revealed the spacious cavern in its full glory. Everyone was awed by its size alone. But there was simply no time to admire the view, as the boat suddenly swivelled and dove sharply, the way a rollercoaster dives after it reached its highest peak.

Of course, everyone more or less began screaming bloody murder of a certain chocolatier (which had been edited out of the film because that would like totally destroy the G rating of the film). At least, everyone who is not a chocolatier (it was his idea after all) or a detective.

Finally, the boat slowed down.

"What the—how come you're sitting there calmly?!" Raito demanded as he recovered, glaring at L who casually dipped his finger on the chocolate river and sucked on it.

"Sitting like this causes you to develop an amazing sense of balance, Raito-kun. Will you not try it?"

"No. More likely, I'll develop an amazing osteoporosis instead."

"People," Wonka called, barely getting the attention of the guests who were nearly having a nervous breakdown. "Keep an eye out, we're passing very important rooms here. "

They passed halls which sported names of various creams and fillings. There were the regular flavours like, chocolate, strawberry, caramel and mocha; other less than usual creams and flavourings like cotton candy, bubblegum, popcorn, soda and peanut butter; and some downright weird such as fish paste cream, sea cucumber cream and hair cream.

It's quite hard to imagine a treat having hair cream in it.

Mrs. Beauregarde pointed this out. "What do you use hair cream for?

"To lock in moisture, heh," replied Wonka as if it's the most obvious thing in the world (which it was).

The boat passed another hall where a cow was being whipped by some Oompa-loompas.

"Somehow, I've seen this coming..." Raito said, twitching.

L turned to Wonka. "Whipped cream?"

"Precisely," said Wonka, nodding.

Veruca raised an eyebrow. "That doesn't make any sense."

This apparently ticked the chocolatier, as he said rather irately, "For your information, little girl, whipped cream isn't whipped cream if it wasn't whipped with whips. Everybody knows that."

"Apparently, not everyone," said Mr. Teavee disapprovingly. "That's animal cruelty."

"Ah, but I at least don't make mince meat out of them and serve them for dinner. Eating their innards and what-nots is crueller, don't you think?" said Wonka smugly.

"Are you a vegetarian, Mr. Wonka? How wonderful! I am as well, after all I do have a figure to watch," exclaimed Mrs. Beauregarde, delighted. "You have diet-friendly sweets here?"

Wonka stared at her weirdly. "Diet? What an awful sounding word that is... Does it having to do anything with insect excrement?"

"As expected of a chocolatier, he didn't know the word," Raito commented lightly. "Of course, it would be foreign to one who's life is dedicated in making fattening, additive and generally life-ruining wastes called 'sweets'."

He found himself being pinned by twin glares of death from two eccentric persons, causing him to sweat-drop in massive amount.

"Evil, sugar-hating fiend!" Wonka accused, pointing right at Raito's nose.

"Raito-kun, I know how much you loathed to be chained to me... So would you perhaps prefer to be chained to Misa-san _and_ Matsuda-san instead?" L asked, knowing the threat was effective as Raito's usual refined features paled.

"You don't have to go that far..." Raito muttered, not liking the mental torture the threat has just given him. Needless to say, he was scarred. And to think it was just his imagination...

Wonka suddenly straightened up, eyes alight. "Stop the boat! I want to show you guys something."

The boat slowed to a stop in one of the docks. Everyone disembarked with varying degrees of ungainliness, from the exciting (traumatizing) boat ride.

"What is this place?" Violet asked, blowing a bubble.

"This is the Inventing Room!" Wonka announced. "Now this is the most important room in the entire factory, for reasons that should be quite obvious so I wouldn't need to explain because, really—"

Everyone stared at him.

"Why don't you just get on with it?" Mike demanded.

Wonka paused, as if not getting over the fact that he had just been told off. "Well... Alright then. Every one, enjoy yourselves, but just don't touch anything. Okay? Go on, scoot."

Everybody dispersed to investigate the Inventing Room. It was filled with various gadgets, smoking tubes and bubbling concoctions of diverse colors. Oompa-loompas can be seen here and there in lab coats and goggles that covered three fourths of their faces testing various... uh... stuff.

Raito and L, however, did not join the others in enjoying the room. Instead, they were hunting for the washroom.

"Wonka-san said to turn left after that red tube."

"Does that look red to you? That's magenta."

"Considering that the others are various shades of blue, I say this is red enough."

"Ryuuzaki, will you just be quiet and let me look peacefully?"

"..."

"Thank you."

"...There's actually a door that says washroom over there."

Raito twitched. "You could have told me that when we passed it in the first place, you know."

L shrugged. "I want to look around the room."

Using Willy Wonka's washroom was an experience Raito wouldn't forget even if he tried. It was sort of a car wash for people. It could be called people wash for all its worth. I wouldn't be able to describe it, because that's just how indescribable it is.

When Raito emerged from the stall (with a crisp, clean shirt that looks as if it had been washed and ironed all the while with him in it), he was pale and shaking. "I... I never wanted to be dirty ever again..."

L, who had stayed outside the stall (and recorded all of Raito's muffled yells and screams of pain and horror with his tiny audio recorder for blackmail purposes), stared at him.

"I never knew your hair could be so shiny, Raito-kun. Somehow, it makes me want to try it too."

"NO!" Raito yelled in panic. Then, he paused, recovering his composure. "Honestly. Don't."

Curious, L glanced at the stall, which looked innocently back at him. It seemed normal enough. "I should have one installed at the headquarters."

"Don't even think about it," Raito growled, dragging the detective away from investigating the stall.

L let himself be dragged back into the room, with a thoughtful look.

Raito had not been the only one with a curious experience in the washroom. As he was waiting for Raito, a soap dispenser caught L's attention. Not because it looks like a soap dispenser (because otherwise it just looks normal so it wouldn't be interesting), but because it looks exactly like a sugar dispenser (which happened to be L's favourite thing in the world next to his trusty fork).

Thinking that a sugar dispenser should have sugar in it, L picked it up and inspected it; he was surprised to say the least. There's no sugar, but there is some kind of lolipop in it.

"Truthy Pops?" L read.

There was a tiny inscription on the wrapper, but there was simply no way to read it right then. L had brought his handy magnifying glass (because he grew up believing all detectives should always have a magnifying glass on his person), but with Raito falling relatively quiet after a ceaseless amount of banging and yelling, it would seem that the younger prodigy was finished.

"Ryuuzaki! RYUUZAKI!"

L blinked, eyes focusing on the face right below his nose. Okay, so not really because _that_ would be totally uncomfortable. But it's close enough to make L uncomfortable.

"I would appreciate it if you remove your face away from my person, Raito-kun. I value personal space after all."

Raito's left eye twitched as he straightened up. "I thought you fell into coma while standing up."

"Technically, that wouldn't be possible because in comatose state—"

"I wouldn't put it past you if you do. You're weird that way." Raito interrupted, walking ahead. "Let's join the others."

L followed silently, fingering the lolly that he hid in his pockets.

By the time they arrived, the rest of the group were gathered in front of a very large tank. In it, an Oompa-loompa, garbed in a diving suit, picked up a round candy and handed it to Wonka once he surfaced.

"Thank you. These are Everlasting Gobstoppers." Wonka announced, holding the rounded candy up. "You can suck on it all year, and it will never get any smaller. Isn't that neat?

Violet looked up, interested. "It's like gum?"

Wonka stared at her as if she asked if she could grow a cactus on her nose. "You can't grow a cactus on your nose."

Everyone stared at the chocolatier.

"I... never said I could." Violet said.

Wonka blinked. "Oh? Oh. Okay. What was that you asked?"

"I asked if that's like a gum." Violet said impatiently.

"No. Gum is for chewing. And if you try chewing one of this Gobstoppers, you'd break all your little teeth off." Wonka said, throwing the candy back at the water tank (which hit an Oompa-loompa just getting off the tank causing the little man to fall back into the water with a splash).

The group followed the chocolatier as he moved to another section of the room. But L's attention was caught by a bunch of lollies stacked in a nearby table. It looked exactly like the lolly he got in his pocket.

"What are you looking at?" Raito asked, noticing his companion looking entranced at something. When he realized what L was staring at, he twitched. "Are you planning on nicking that? Tch. Stop it. Have you seen that?"

Raito pointed at the group, where Wonka was showing everyone the side-effect of his Hair Toffee. The Oompa-loompa looked noting more like an accumuated bunch of hair from a local barber shop.

"You might turn in a pale, stick-like figure with a big head—" Raito paused, looking at L over. "Not that you don't look like that in the first place..."

"Should I be offended by your insults, Raito-kun?" L asked, shoving both of his hands on his pockets and shuffling towards the group. "It would seem that the further we go into this tour, the more frequent your insults come. I wonder why is that."

Raito paused, looking thoughtful. "That's true."

"That only proves that your guard is lowering. Perhaps I may catch Kira in this tour..." L said, almost to himself.

Gritting his teeth, Raito followed him. "I'm NOT Kira."

L ignored him in favour of watching Wonka step near another machine.

"Watch this!" The chocolatier said excitedly, pulling some levers and pushing buttons here and there. The machine burst into life, sputtering and whistling in an alarmingly loud volume as it goes.

Everyone stared as a small compartment emerged, producing a thin piece of gum.

"You mean that's it?" Mike demanded.

"That was... kind of anti-climatic, doesn't it?" Mr. Teavee muttered.

"Do you even know what it is?" Wonka asked, twitching.

Violet was the first to answer. Naturally. "It's a gum."

Wonka's whole countenance immediately lit up. "Yeah. It's a stick of the most amazing and sensational gum in the whole universe. You know why? You know why? Cause this gum is a full three course dinner all by itself. Ha-ha!"

Crickets chirped and random tumbleweeds appeared out of nowhere.

Although that's impossible since they're all indoors.

"Why would anyone want that?" Mr. Salt asked finally.

Wonka opened his mouth, then closed it again. He repeated this action twice before turning around, and whipping out his flashcards.

"'It will be the end of all kitchens and all cooking.'" Wonka read. "'Just one strip of Wonka's magic chewing gum and that is all you will need for breakfast lunch and dinner. This piece of gum happens to be tomato soup, roast beef and blueberry pie.'"

"Um... sounds great," Raito said uncertainly.

"It sounds weird." Veruca stated, looking at the gum distastefully.

The crickets would have chirped again, but a voice breaks the otherwise oppressing silence.

"I want to try it."

All heads whipped to look at the pale detective who had his hand raised and eyes alight.

"Ryuuzaki," hissed Raito, elbowing him discreetly. "Stop it!"

L looked at him. "You always urge me to eat proper food, Raito-kun. But I want to eat my sweets. I think this gum would serve both our purposes."

The detective reached out, took the gum and popped it in his mouth, chewing thoughtfully. THAT was what L would have done, had not Violet reached out first and took the gum.

"It sounds like MY kind of gum," Violet declared. She removed her current gum and stick it behind her ear (making everyone else but her mother go 'EWWW') and was about to put the new gum in her mouth when Wonka spoke.

"I rather you didn't." The chocolatier said, looking squeamish. "There's one or two things that are a little—"

Violet raised an eyebrow. "I'm the world record holder of chewing gum. I'm not afraid of anything."

She popped the gum in her mouth and began chewing.

"How is it, honey?" Mrs. Beauregarde asked.

Violet's eyes had lit up. "It's amazing. Tomato soup! I can feel it running down my throat."

Wonka was still fidgeting. "Yeah... Spit it out!"

As everyone else's attention was directed to the girl, L was the only one who noticed the panicked look in the chocolatier's eyes.

"Hm... There might be some more errors to this product." L commented, pushing a thumb against his lips. "Perhaps I'm wise not to have tried it myself."

But Violet was beyond listening now. "It's changing. Roast beef, with baked potato. Crispy skin and butter!"

Mrs. Beauregarde looked on her daughter proudly. "Keep chewing, kiddo. My little girl is gonna be the first person in the world to have a chewing gum meal."

Wonka flinched. "Yah… I'm just a little concerned about the—"

"Blueberry pie and ice cream!" Violet shouted happily.

"—that part..." Wonka sighed, defeated.

"Nothing seems wrong..." Raito muttered to L. "At least she hasn't choked yet nor anything weird's been happening."

"No. You're wrong." L said quietly. And Veruca was the one who pointed this out.

"What's happening to her nose?" the British girl asked disdainfully.

Mr. Salt noticed it too. "It's turning blue."

Mrs. Beauregarde, concerned, grabbed her daughter and inspected her. "Her whole nose has gone purple!"

"W-what do you mean?" Violet asked, touching her nose. By this time, her whole face had gone purple.

Her mother stepped away from her, aghast. "Violet! You're turning violet!" She turned to Wonka, panicked. "What's happening?"

"Well, I told you I hadn't quite got it right cause it goes a little funny when it gets to the dessert. It's the blueberry pie that does it…" He was backing away from the group as he spoke. Then, hiding behind the machine, he muttered, "I'm terribly sorry."

Everyone stepped away from the blonde girl when she began swelling up into a gigantic size.

Violet was really panicking by now. "Mother? What's happening to me?!"

L decided to state the obvious once more. "She's swelling up."

"Like... a blueberry..." Raito finished, twitching. "I am SO not seeing this. This is impossible..."

"Yes. The existence of Death Gods is much more believable, ne Raito-kun?" L asked, attention focused on the frightened girl.

"You—" Whatever Raito wanted to say during that time, it was completely wiped from his mind as he glanced back at Violet. "Damn... That's one big blueberry..."

Wonka emerged from his hiding place. "I've tried it on like twenty Oompa-loompas, and each one ended up as a blueberry. Heh, it's just weird!"

Mrs. Beauregarde stared incredulously at him. "But I can't have a blueberry as a daughter! How is she supposed to compete?"

Veruca snorted in that prissy way of hers. "You could put her in a county fair."

Just then, they noticed the Oompa-loompas setting up for another intense production number.

Raito slapped his forehead. "I hope they're not wearing red leather this time..."

* * *

**A/N:**

**First of all, those lines you recognize from the movie, well..obviously they're not mine.. I'll edit the chapters after I finished the story so that proper credit can be given to the writers.. **

Woo! An update! Can you believe that? ...No, I can't... (-.-;)

I'm sorry for taking so long.. I just can't find any sites to watch the movie again.. Do any on you know of one? One with English subs, preferably, since I got to take note of the other lines in the movie.. If you do have one, please PM the link to me... I'd appreciate it to the bottom of my heart (plus it would mean a faster update)! (-,o)v

Anyway, I hope someone's still reading this.. Thank you so much for the support, you guys!

Please, please tell me what you think of this story... Thank you very much! (-,-)v


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